returning home...

well, to be honest, i live with a family that doesnt have any blood relation with me... not my brothers, not my sisters, those little kids, not really my nephews and nieces... i knew them since 2001. it all started when i was doing my industrial training during my 3rd semester in local tech college further north... since then, i keep on coming back to them and this is a place that i call home...

the lady that i've been calling IBU (which mean mother) wasnt really my mother and was just 5 years older than me. when i first met her, she was holding a baby carrier with a 3months old baby girl sleeping so blissful in it... now that little girl already turn 9 and she have another 3siblings... IBU and her husband run an electrical engineering company and there is where i do my training and also the place i got my first job...

IBU and the entire family member, from grandma, to aunts and uncles, to relatives far away in Kelantan and her siblings treated me so nice and wonderful... they make me feel like i belong to the family. been almost 10years and i can say that i am so grateful for having them in my life...

to be honest... i dont really have a good relationship with my own father. when my mother passed away, i was just 9 years old. being a second wife, my mother doesnt really mix around with the neighbors to avoid them from asking so many questions. when she died, i was kinda lost... my dad brought the first wife to stay in our house together with her 4 kids... i have 6 siblings. 10 children in one tiny house with 2 rooms, i force myself to learn how to share and not to be so demanding... my step mother doesnt really favor me since i look exactly like my mother only that im much taller...

i go to school everyday pretending like nothing happen... hardly change my school uniform. i learn how to clean, to cook and to babysit as early as 10 years old. during school holidays, i help my aunts to look after my younger cousins, and she will brought me to the mall and bought me new school uniforms, shoes, stationery for me to use. but i normally share the new pencils, eraser and all the stuff i got with my younger brothers and sisters...

life wasnt easy for me... but im glad i manage to make it through. got into so much troubles but i never avoid them, i tried as best as i can to deal with it... been away from my own home for almost 6years, that's how long i havent seen my father and my step mother... i did saw my brothers and sisters few times in a year. i heard from one of my brother, my father wasnt really well, heart problem... i just nodded and didnt say anything...

its about time for me to go back to where i come from, to a place i belong... it might make everybody feel so awkward for my sudden return but this Syawal, im going to celebrate it with my parents and siblings. let my father scold me, yell and hit me if he wish to, but im returning home... im returning home...

August